Our History
For decades the Lesser Crested Greater Breasted Grebe has been at odds with humans.
The birds have a unique mating call, which many describe as sounding exactly like a jackhammer. The birds make this call during their mating season, which lasts for 50 weeks of the year. Lesser Crested Greater Breasted Grebes also smell very strongly of rotten fish.
These qualities mean that small-minded people living nearby don’t particularly like the Lesser Crested Greater Breasted Grebe. Indeed, humans have hunted the bird to the point of near extinction, meaning they now only live in one small area, spanning an area less than six square miles.
For the last 10 years we have been protecting that six square mile area with our lives, fighting beak and nail to keep the species alive.
In some circles our name has been dragged through the mud; we have been accused of forcing the grebes to mate to keep the species alive. We strongly refute these claims, although we have been known to dress up in grebe outfits and do provocative dances to try and encourage the grebes to get in the mating mood. If sexy dancing is a crime then lock us up.
The Threat Now
This remaining habitat of the Lesser Crested Greater Breasted Grebe is now under further threat from human activities.
A nearby rocket launch pad, operated by the space giant Lunovos, poses a significant risk to the small and fragile ecosystem that these birds call home.
The noise, vibrations, and disturbances generated by rocket launches disrupt their breeding, feeding, and nesting patterns, endangering their very existence.
We propose that the only way to counter this threat is with extreme force and cunning, orange paint just won’t cut it this time.
We have briefed all of our members on the upcoming plan and the time to strike will soon be at hand. We will have vengeange for the Lesser Crested Greater Breasted Grebe and we will succeed at all costs! This will not be another case of the Alaotra Grebe – who we still absoutely promise we did not accidentally make extinct – Greta the last Alaotra Grebe was very old and Geoff did absolutely not accidentally kill her in a horrible washing machine related incident like the papers said.
